i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
