Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i think my cat just said my name.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
