I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
