Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
