i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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