Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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