I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
