just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he fucked my hip out of place.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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