he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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