shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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