Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
