Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
