i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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