Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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