I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
