Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
is that a dick in a sweater?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
