I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
