TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
