i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
