My liver just broke up with me...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
