I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
