Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
