I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
