I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
