i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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