somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
