I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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