There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
