I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
