just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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