I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
