This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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