She said her name was "party"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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