Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
