can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
