If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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