i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
