i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
