we have officially mastered the walk of shame
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
PANTIES FOUND
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