Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
