just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
