We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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