Apparently you make a good broom.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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