Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
