sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
