how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
