What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
