We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
