white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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