you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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