it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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