we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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