this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
